IF you haven't brought your Christmas tree into the house yet, congratulations. Tradition holds that it's bad luck to put your tree up before Christmas Eve. My own experience is that it's bad luck to put a tree up at any time. I love the holiday as much as the next guy, but let's be honest: a seven-foot tree doesn't belong in my house any more than a sofa belongs in my garden.

I've been ambivalent (or simply confused) about Christmas trees as far back as grade school, when I first heard the familiar tune "O Christmas Tree," sung as "O Tannenbaum." This was totally baffling to my 10-year-old ears. You see, I knew Michael Tannenbaum, and he was as likely to have a Christmas tree decorating his living room as we were to have a rabbi decorating ours...

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